‘The Situation’ Making More Money Than You This Year

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You work hard every day, chained to a desk at your white-collar job. But do you have twelve-pack abs and the tendency to hate shirts? We didn’t think so — and that, friend, is why “The Situation” is pulling in $5 million this year and you’re not.

For those of you strong enough to evade the magnetic pull that is Jersey Shore, here’s a primer on this five-million-dollar man. Born Mike Sorrentino, he dubbed himself “The Situation” in reference to his abs being, well, a situation. The 27-year-old Staten Island native used to work as a stripper before appearing on MTV, quickly becoming its central figure along with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi. The reality-TV gang is best known for their drunken antics at Seaside Heights bars.

So, naturally, “The Situation” used these important skills to rake in the cash, according to The Hollywood Reporter. He pulls in $60,000 per episode of Jersey Shore, and will earn $1 million in appearance fees alone this year. He’s also (of course) working on several fitness videos and a supplement line. He’s coming out with an iPhone app based on his daily “GTL — Gym, Tan, Laundry” routine, has a horrible rap single, and is endorsing a line of vodka.  And, most surprisingly, he’s working on a book called — wait for it — Here’s the Situation.

The latest news? He might join the cast of Dancing with the Stars, giving him even more money to burn. No doubt the costume designers are working on ab-displaying getups as we speak, while you cry, do crunches, and sign up to audition for The Real World.