WATCH: This Councilman Has Seen Too Many Movies

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Politicians: What did they do before their every move was watched by cameras?

When Councilman Phil Davison tried to convince the Stark County, Ohio Republican executive committee to select him as the party’s nominee for county treasurer last night, he really tried to convince them. Instead of a normal stump speech, Davison whipped out an impassioned six-minute plea that seemed like it should have been coming from a villain in act II of a Hollywood drama.

In honor of Davison’s impressive oratory, we’ve selected the five best quotes from his speech and the Oscar-nominated actor best equipped to deliver them:

“I will not apologize for my tone tonight. I have been a Republican in times good, and I have been a Republican in times bad!”

The classic mixture of dignity and a pinch of self-pity in this sentence would be an excellent fit for the actor Chris Cooper

“Politics is not touch football. Politics is winner-take-all. It always has been, and it always will be!”

The scoffing in this sentence could be perfectly delivered by a Glengarry-era Alec Baldwin

“Knowledge is power. […] Let’s use this knowledge not only as a tool — but as a weapon!”

This part is so off-kilter that only Christopher Walken could do it justice

“If nominated tonight I will win this election! And I’m going to say that again so there’s no miscommunication tonight! If nominated tonight, I win! Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell Randy Gonzalez! I’m coming. Both barrels, guns loaded.”

There’s only one person in Hollywood who can pull off this bit of manic rage: Al Pacino at his over-acting finest

“I used to be an idealistic thinker, now I am a pragmatic thinker. Government is about service, politics is about winning!”

Need someone to deliver oily epigrams? Get Michael Douglas on speed-dial (And get well soon, Mike!)

But you know, all these dramatics aren’t really NewsFeed’s style. Perhaps we could get Davison in a buddy comedy with Basil Marceaux and Jan Brewer? Call it Three Republicans and A Little Viral Video. (via HuffPost)

UPDATE: PBS has the first post-fame interview with Davison, and it’s actually quite an interesting read.