Ladies, do you find yourselves home alone on a Friday night, staring wistfully out to sea? Do you enjoy assembling tiny ships inside bottles or making sculptures out of driftwood that you find on the beach? Is your widow’s walk more like a single’s walk? Then NewsFeed has the dating website for you:
SeaCaptainDate.com! The only website dedicated to Sea Captains and the women (or men) who love them.
Using SeaCaptainDate.com is easy. According to the website’s testimonial, all you have to do is log onto “one of them computer terminals and Google the Internet.” Then you create a dating profile and wait for your own personal Captain Ahab to come snatch you up.
Not all sea captains are alike, of course. Some are salty, some are fresh. Some might be cleverly disguised pirates. You’re going to have to sift through hundreds of poop-deck jokes and mermaid fetishes before you meet your true love. So be careful out there. If you find yourself pining for Captain Ron, try not to end up on an episode of Deadliest Catch.