Why Your State Sucks: The Great American Map of Fail

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Courtesy Pleated Jeans

Let’s face it, we totally judge people based on where they’re from. Here’s your handy cheat sheet to each state’s worst quality.

There’s no shortage of derogatory comments about some states, such as New Jersey or Florida, but have you gotten tongue-tied when meeting someone from North Dakota? Well, this map is your key to a proper comeback – and according to a Daily Beast poll, the Peace Garden State has the ugliest people. It’s a little known, yet “scientifically proven” zinger that might make a few North Dakotan enemies.

(More on NewsFeed: See a rebuttal graphic on why your state doesn’t suck)

Each of the nifty fifty ranks last in something, though some milestones certainly outweigh the others. Some accolades are tame and actually quite bland. Ohio is the nerdiest state, and Iowa has the oldest residents – words that would cause nary a reaction when thrown out in a verbal spar.

(More on TIME.com: See TIME’s video of the 50 states of wine.)

Other states come as no surprise: Wisconsin, home to MillerCoors, has the most binge drinkers, New Yorkers, who head to the Big Apple each day via congested roadways and too few trains, have the longest commutes, and Michigan, no thanks to the struggling auto industry, has the most folks out of work. Some states’ awards completely flip America’s perception of them. Mormon Utah is first in porn watching? Sunny California has the grossest air? And what’s the deal with STDs down there in Louisiana?

(More on TIME.com: See the top 10 U.S. news stories of the past year.)

But scanning to the Great Plains and out West, you’ll notice a few completely shameful stats. We don’t want to know about the possible animal-loving going on in Washington state, and it appears South Dakota and Nebraska may have issues respecting women.

Regardless of where you’re from, your state has a milestone that you and your statewide kin probably shouldn’t be proud of. But the real question is: do you contribute to your state’s worst quality?

And here’s the map in its full glory.