The expression “sealed with a kiss” just took on a whole new meaning.
Harlequin, global purveyor of sultry romance novels adored by women around the world, wants to spread the love this Valentine’s Day by patenting the “Essential Romantic Kiss” — otherwise known as the type of smooch that leaves your knees shaking, palms sweaty and keeps you smiling for days.
Earlier this month, Harlequin’s Office for the Preservation of the Kiss (seriously, we couldn’t make this up) officially submitted a patent application outlining what they deemed the “basic method by which two people can reciprocate their romantic feelings toward one another in a manner that deepens attachment, provides pleasure and promotes physical and emotional well-being.”
(More on TIME.com: See the top 10 most memorable kisses)
While it may seem silly at first for the publishers who made Fabio an object of female desire to attempt to patent a basic human action, Harlequin appears to have the best intentions at heart. If the patent is approved, the publisher says kissing will remain in the public domain, in the interest of “enhancing romantic love and generally making the world a better place.”
NewsFeed agrees that love certainly makes the world go-round, but the details included in the patent application kind of zaps the romance out of a impromptu, real-life smooch. Seven pages in depth, the application starts with an abstract outlining the “invention”, followed by background info, an invention summary, hilarious diagrams showing the kiss in action (leg lift and all), and ends with a more detailed description of how to kiss. (The complete application is available for download here.)
(More on NewsFeed: See a video of the world’s longest kiss.)
The patent comes on the heels of a HOPK survey studying attitudes toward kissing in an era where digital connections often trump face-to-face romance. The research showed that many Americans are still traditional when it comes to kissing, saying that more than half of women and men (53%) believe that the man should initiate a first kiss, and while a bad kiss isn’t a dealbreaker, women are still likely to dish about it to their friends.
The “Romance Report,” as it’s so called, can be found on the HOPK site, patentyourkiss.com, where visitors can also read more about the idea behind the patent and use an interactive tool to create their own perfect kisses (one is pictured above). While it may not be realistically romantic, the kiss creations could serve as a decent stand-in if you’re not expecting any other action this V-day. (via AOL)