Reading While Eating for March 2: Escalator Mishaps, Snooki Blasts Off, Kirstie Alley Dissed

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Models pose in their underwear at a bus station to celebrate the fifth annual Brazil Underwear Day in Brasilia March 1, 2011.

REUTERS/Ueslei Marcelino

This Wednesday, enjoy your lunch with @charliesheen and unflattering mug shots.

No-Second Rule: If you eat a chip after a brief stint on the ground, buying into the five-second rule, you are not alone. Unfortunately, a doctor says it should be a zero-second rule. (Consumerist)

No One Likes Their Mug Shot: After being arrested Tuesday, Christina Aguilera’s mug shot has been leaked. Sorry Christina, the police don’t airbrush. (Gawker)

Who’s Dancing with Who: The Dancing with the Stars pairs were revealed by ABC Wednesday. Kirstie Alley says her pair’s already given her a snarky nickname. (CBS News)

Blast Off: America’s favorite party girl Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has made her way from the Jersey Shore to Rolling Stone’s cover. It looks like she got there by riding a rocket. (BuzzFeed)

Sheen’s First Words: Before ever tweeting a thing, @charliesheen had 100,000 followers. Now, the ‘winner’ is tweeting. And uploading twitpics.

‘Outragous’ Free Speech: The Supreme Court upheld the right of the Westboro Baptist Church to protest at military funerals. See photos of inside the controversial church. (LIFE)

Kid History: Listen to these children’s version of their family saga, based on the game where everyone adds one sentence. (Daily What)

Must See: Remember way back when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert held a rally in Washington in October? Bet you never saw the frightening aftermath. (Urlesque)