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As the little snake continues its adventures in the Big Apple, the elusive cobra couldn’t slither away from NewsFeed’s questions.
@BronxZoosCobra has stolen the spotlight of the Bronx Zoo’s actual escaped Egyptian cobra. NewsFeed remains fearless of snakes, so naturally, we wanted to know more. So we messaged the snake’s account looking for an “in-character” phone convo. But, fearing capture, the cobra would only agree to an e-mail interview. Here’s what it told us.
(More on TIME.com: See the top 10 zoo escapes)
How did you manage to escape the zoo?
Let’s just say it involved a paper clip, chewing gum and an old episode of MacGyver.
Why did you take to Twitter rather than dropping off the grid entirely?
I wanted to inspire zoo animals everywhere to take a bigger part in social media, like @ConansSquirrel and @Sockington. Also, I’m totally looking for a book deal.
How long do you plan to slither around the city? Do you have any other destinations in mind?
I just want to see the sights, maybe take in a show or two. If anyone has suggestions they should let me know.
What’s been your favorite destination in New York City?
Rockefeller Center was pretty exciting. I saw Tina Fey. I didn’t say anything to her. I just played it cool like a real New Yorker would.
What happens if you’re caught?
I assume that at some point the FBI will contact me to help them track down some other escaped animal. A partnership will form between me, the charming cobra, and a tough and by-the-book agent that only puts up with my flippant attitude because I get results.
Bonus Question (we couldn’t resist this shameless attempt)
What’s your real identity?
Justin Bieber.
(More on TIME.com: See the 140 best accounts to follow on Twitter)