Secret Royal Honeymoon Begins for William and Kate

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AP Photo / Matt Dunham

As bridesmaid Grace van Cutsem, left, covers her ears, Britain's Prince William kisses his wife Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

When is a honeymoon not a honeymoon? When you don’t know the destination.

Granted, that’s not exactly the snappiest start to a story, but with millions of words already written about those newlyweds, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, you’ll forgive us for not being overjoyed about not knowing a whole lot about their honeymoon.

(More on TIME.com: See pictures of Will and Kate’s big day.)

But what we do know is this: the honeymoon has begun. Clarence House confirmed that the postwedding trip is under way but wouldn’t reveal the destination or the duration of the vacation. Prince William has taken two weeks’ leave, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all being used for the purpose of the trip. “We are not confirming, and we are not commenting on, speculation on where they may be going on their private honeymoon. We are just confirming that they have gone,” a spokesman said in quite possibly NewsFeed’s favorite quote of the year.

The guessing game is well and truly under way when it comes to the location. In the frame: Africa (they got engaged in Kenya), Jordan, the Caribbean and Australia. If NewsFeed were forced to make a prediction, we’d go with that exclusive Indian Ocean island of the Seychelles.

The reason? Well, if it’s good enough for Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper, who are we to argue? The tabloid has boldly stated that the couple is shacked up in a villa that costs $6,540 a night. We love how the Mail got all misty-eyed in its description: “The resort, which is surrounded by coconut groves, offers almost complete isolation. Its white-sand beaches are bathed by crystal-clear turquoise waters and are a sanctuary for sea turtles.” For sure, no honeymoon is complete without sea turtles.

At least the Duke and Duchess are getting some bang for their buck with reports of a butler and personal chef — no need to bring their own! — being on hand to cater to their every whim.

It’s not likely that the resort will be revealed by the press. “The couple have asked that their privacy be respected during their honeymoon,” said the spokesman. Perhaps so, but you can bet your bottom dollar, all $6,540 of them, that once they return home, they will be fair game for the world’s press. Quite literally, the honeymoon period will be over. (via BBC)

See pictures of 13 absurd royal wedding hats.