Meet ‘Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy’, Wendy’s New Monster Cheeseburger

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Say hello to the new Godzilla-sized, to-heck-with-your-diet Wendy’s burger. It’s the same as the old one, save for the thicker, “never-frozen” half-pound beef patty, crinkle-cut pickles, red onions, extra cheese, buttered and toasted bun, and no-more-mustard.” You can get your hands on one starting today.

If that sounds a bit like an ad, we suppose it is — the perils of describing something (food) in detail that we all need, more or less daily, to survive.

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Well, that’s assuming you consider fast food from Wendy’s food, and what’s more, something the burger chain’s dubbed “Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy,” which—despite being named after Wendy’s posthumous founder Dave Thomas—probably won’t endear this hulking calorie-bomb-on-a-plate to those with more selective palettes.

How many calories are we talking? A whopping 810, of which 430 (48 grams) are pure, scrumptious fat. What do you get in the bargain? Iron and protein, mostly, some calcium from the cheese and some vitamin A and C bringing up the nutritional caboose.

Wendy’s apparently came up with this thing using a pickle chemist. Yes, a pickle chemist (so sayeth the Associated Press, anyway). They also sampled customer opinion (always a perk) and deployed Wendy’s muckety-mucks on a burger-gobbling tour.

The result: You’re looking at it up top, a monument to over-the-top consumerism, as well as a shot across the bow of competitors like McDonald’s and up-and-comers like Five Guys.

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