We Want Our CainTV!

Herman Cain, America's favorite pizza mogul and presidential candidate, has a new venture: web television programming.

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Mark Blinch / Reuters

He’s already been a successful businessman, motivational speaker, author, radio host and presidential candidate. Now Herman Cain can add “media executive” to his resume.

On July 4, Cain officially launched CainTV, an online news and entertainment network dedicated to its namesake’s vision. Cain — who first made his name as the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, and then as head of the National Restaurant Association — is best known for his bid for the Republican presidential nomination in which he successfully leveraged Tea Party sentiments before suspending his campaign amid allegations of sexual misconduct.

(More: The Cain Train)

But now the self-described “America’s favorite CEO” is using his freshly-won name recognition to promote the new website. CainTV features news analysis, entertainment programming, movies and blogs that open up users to “the other side of popular culture, politics, entertainment,” according to the website.

“Here you’ll find critical reporting on stories and events that aren’t available in see in our current one-sided mainstream media,” the website says. “But we’re also going to have some fun along the way – c’mon, this is Herman Cain we’re talking about – would you expect anything less?”

Cain announced the project earlier this week with a teaser video on the official website and the network’s new Facebook page. NewsFeed could try to describe some of the craziness in the video (including an American dinosaur named “Tex the T. Rex” and a hugely buff Reagan), but you should probably just watch it.

CainTV programming is divided into three channels: Informative (which includes both the Cain-hosted editorial segment “We Are Not Stupid” and the hilariously low-budget “Simple Science Moments“); Inspirational, and the oddly-italicized Intertainment. This last channel may be the most fascinating of Cain’s offerings as it includes programs like KIVI, whose first episode is essentially a man rapidly listing racial stereotypes in the name of humor and anti-political-correctness.

More: Killer Chickens Star in Herman Cain’s Latest Ad.

One show we won’t be seeing a lot of? “Street Smarts”, hosted by a homeless man named Lou. Sadly, Lou passed away since the filming of the show, Cain told CNN. He is, however, planning to audition other homeless people with strong opinions for future episodes.