Dennis Rodman, Terrible Role Model, Writes a Children’s Book

He infamously wore a wedding dress to promote his 1996 autobiography, 'Bad As I Wanna Be.' We cannot wait to see what he will wear to promote this.

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Inductee Dennis Rodman arrives to the Basketball Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony

Rainbow-colored hair, piercings, tattoos, a fling with Madonna, a Vegas marriage to Carmen Electra, and drunk driving arrests: These hardly sound like the trimmings of a children’s book author. But famed NBA wild child Dennis Rodman is set to start indoctrinating the nation’s youth, having penned a book called “Dennis the Wild Bull.”

A bold idea, but is the creativity there? Let’s take a look at the name: “Dennis,” we can assume, refers to the author, “wild” perhaps to his bad boy image, and “bull” to his time as a Chicago Bull. Sounds rather simple. So what’s inside? (And we won’t make any wisecracks about “blank pages.”) We’ve been forced to make educate guesses about the books’ plot because its website gives zero details about the actual story. Our only hints at the contents:

“[The book will] convey good lessons to children based on Dennis’ own experiences as a world-class athlete while overcoming obstacles as a child.”

We sympathize with Dennis, who did reportedly have an unhappy childhood — he just reconnected with his father after 42 years of separation. But we wonder what valuable life lessons Rodman, who spent the 90s being chased by referees and policemen alike for his erratic and violent behavior, has to share with our children.

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On a touching note, the book is dedicated to his kids, so we’re willing to give Rodman the benefit of the doubt. The man did accomplish a lot in the world of basketball: he earned NBA All-Defensive First Team honors seven times, was voted NBA Defensive Player of the year twice and even won 5 NBA championships — two with the Detroit Pistons and three with the Chicago Bulls. He was inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame last year.

This isn’t Rodman’s first foray into the literary world. He has also published several other books over the course of his career, including Bad As I Wanna Be and, most recently, I Should Be Dead By Now, for all of which he used ghostwriters. And parents, be consoled: he may not have actually written this one either: The website says he has “teamed up” with author/screenwriter Dustin Warburton and illustrator Dan Monroe to make “Dennis the Wild Bull.”

The book is due out in September, but signed copies are available now for pre-order on the book’s site. We hope they’re sold with temporary tattoos.

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