What you’ll need:
- Red baseball cap, worn backwards
- Black suit or gray t-shirt, your pick
- A foam dumbbell (or real one, if you can manage lifting it all evening)
- Tax-slashing ‘tude
- Triangular piece of fabric or wig, glued to forehead to form widow’s peak
- Your best “Hey Girl” face
Under typical circumstances, dressing as the Wisconsin congressman would be a rather boring choice – after all, there are many finely coiffed men in well-tailored suits. But then the world got a look at the VP candidate’s workout routine, thanks to long-held, never-published photos by this very publication. Donning this costume, you can be both a politico and a powerlifter, spouting off equal strains of Conservative punditry and protein shake recipes. Don’t forget to throw in a few references to P90X – or just lift up your shirt to expose your washboard abs – amid your rambling about repealing Obamacare. Can’t talk about those things, you say? That’s alright – no words are needed. Just stick out your arm and don your best pretty-boy smile, and you’ll command the respect of everyone in the room. We just hope you don’t pose for photos you might regret down the line while pretending to be Paul Ryan.