Thousands check out guns at the Rocky Mountain Gun Show in Sandy, Utah Wednesday, January 5, 2013.
Today in Alex Jones: The InfoWars host who went on a spirited rant against CNN’s Piers Morgan earlier this week now says New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is sending crackheads to kill him. (Gawker)
Fear the Imaginary Hitler! Meanwhile, Jon Stewart spent a good part of Tuesday’s Daily Show eviscerating gun rights groups for being too afraid of a “possible” future government conspiracy to prevent unnecessary gun deaths now. (The Daily Show)
Next Up: An Afghan war veteran tells Piers Morgan why he’s not giving up his guns, and the BBC finds a bunch of folks who say what we really need are more guns. (CNN; BBC)
Meanwhile, Bloomberg Has Other Things to Worry About. Like a massive ferry crash that injured some 50 people in lower Manhattan this morning. Solve that, crackhead assassins. (TIME.com)
Here’s Everything You Need to Know about Incurable Gonorrhea. Crikey. (BuzzFeed)
The Best Part about John Lew as Treasury Secretary? This insane signature on all of our money. (The Atlantic)
The Best Part about Being Friends with Elvis? He bought almost everybody a car. Seriously. He was like the Oprah of his day. (Mental Floss)
The Best Part about Miss Alabama? Totally cool with Brent Musberger audibly drooling all over her at Monday’s BCS game. (People)
The Best Part about Cutting for Bieber? It’s a hoax. (Huffington Post)
The Best Part about that Airline Passenger Who Was So Drunk They Taped Him to His Chair? Now there’s video. (BuzzFeed)
Internet Prank of the Day: A Japanese hacker led authorities on a months-long hunt that ended with officers solving riddles and chasing a cat around an island. (Channel News Asia via The Daily Wh.at)
Probably NSFW Video of the Day: David Sedaris reads Fifty Shades of Grey. (via Flavorwire)