Reading While Eating for March 13: Pope? Nope

Smoke Watch: Wednesday Edition is on in today's roundup of lunch links.

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ALESSANDRO BIANCHI / REUTERS

Nuns hold umbrellas in Saint Peter's Square while waiting for smoke to rise from a chimney on top of the Sistine Chapel during the second day of voting for the election of a new pope, at the Vatican March 13, 2013.

Update: We have a pope. (TIME.com)

Smoke Detectors: Black smoke emanating from the Sistine Chapel means the cardinals haven’t chosen a pope yet, and it’s happened twice since conclave began. When white smoke emerges, we’ll know that either the cardinals have decided, or someone’s taking a cigarette break. (The Chicago Tribune)

He Doesn’t See Colour: One of Britain’s Members of Parliament thought the black smoke/white smoke schtick was a crass way of referring to the next pope’s race. (The Telegraph)

But If You Didn’t Know That Either… Read up on why the papal conclave (kind of) matters (to some people). (BuzzFeed)

Smoke Signals: The best joke tweet about the pope smoke? The one from God. (Mashable)

More Power Than the Pope? Condé Nast will announce Wednesday that they’ve created a new position especially for Vogue editor Anna Wintour: artistic director of the publishing powerhouse. (The New York Times)

Grounded, With No Phone Privileges: Amidst tweeting cardinals and the Vatileaks scandal that rocked Benedict’s reign, the Vatican has taken extraordinary measures to keep everything in conclave secret. (TIME.com)

Vatileaks and Bushacks: The same hacker who broke into the Bush family’s email accounts hacked former secretary of state Colin Powell’s Facebook account — and used it to hurl screaming, all-caps invective at President George W. Bush. At least, we’re pretty sure it was hacked. (The Daily What)

So You Say You Like Hockey, Eh? Expand your knowledge of things Canadians say, because, well, sometimes they visit America and they live kind of close by. (mental_floss)

Just Call Him Professor Cartman: South Park is being taught in a college classroom. As are Lady Gaga and vampires. (Flavorwire)

Pray For Them: Lifetime’s new reality series Preachers’ Daughters premiered Tuesday. Our favorite quote so far: “God, please don’t ever let my daughter become a porn star.” (YouTube via Crushable)