Take This to Tinder: Study Finds People Named “Katie” and “David” Make the Best Spouses

What's in a name? Apparently, whether you suck at marriage or not.

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Robert Evans / AP

Do you want to get married someday? According to a study, your best bet is choosing someone named “Katie” or “David” because these are the names most closely associated with fantastic, backrub-giving spouses. Adjust your fantasy Pinterest board accordingly.

Of course, this study was conducted by a domain name-selling website called Siteopia.com and not, you know, qualified researchers. Their method for discovering the so-called “best” spouse names: Polling approximately 2,000 people and asking them what kinds of names they associated with people being good spouses. Not exactly super scientific.

A Siteopia spokesperson told Telegraph, “It seems certain names tend to crop up more than others when thinking about the qualities of a good husband or wife.” So basically, they compiled a list of names people said sounded wifely and husband-y.

For selective Tinder mate targeting purposes, here are the complete lists:

Best wife names
1. Katie
2. Sophie
3. Louise
4. Sarah
5. Emily
6. Charlotte
7. Elizabeth
8. Amy
9. Jessica
10. Lucy

Best husband names
1. David
2. Andrew
3. Daniel
4. Paul
5. John
6. William
7. Simon
8. James
9. Chris
10. Stephen

As you can see, people are not very imaginative when it comes to conjuring the name of an ideal spouse. The poll responders chose the most boring, traditional names they could. I get to say this because my name is Katie, and as a rather ornery romantic partner, my doubts about the validity of this study are quite pronounced.