Florida Man Somehow Manages to Ruin Pizza

An abomination.

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Pizza is the greatest food in the world. It’s like the Beyonce of foods. Like The Godfather I and II, it has roots in Italy and is a masterpiece of human achievement and artistry. But one bold Floridian pizzeria owner has tested the boundaries of pizza’s unparalleled deliciousness.

A Florida restaurant has created the world’s most disgusting pizza. Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza, a restaurant in Fort Myers, Florida, is now serving an abomination called the “Everglades” pizza with toppings culled from things you find in swamps, including something called “swamp cabbage.” Also included as toppings: frogs, alligator, hog, and chunks of python. Yes, it’s a pizza made from all the gross creatures who live in the murky, mosquito-infested body-dumping ground zero of America.

Restaurant owner Evan Daniell apparently fancies himself a pizza provocateur. He told the New York Daily News that he also wanted to sell a “Road Kill” pizza, with raccoon and possum, but he hasn’t found a supplier. Daniell sells the “Everglade” for a steep $45 per 14-inch pie, because python meat isn’t cheap.

Granted, normal pizza toppings, when viewed with an objective eye, aren’t exactly undisgusting (let’s not examine the contents of pepperoni too carefully) and it’s admirable that Daniell is taking an invasive species and doing something useful with it. And it might not taste that bad, if you can get over the bleck factor–which, to be fair, we never will.