If you look up the word ‘irony’ in the dictionary, you will not find it because today it exploded.
Society
Hard Workers are the Least-Liked People in Every Office
NewsFeed prides ourselves on being well-liked around the TIME offices for our bright smiles, hilarious jokes and — wait, what?
Guyana’s Health Minister Cautions Against Singing Too Much About Rum
NewsFeed has long been a fan of West Indian chutney. However, we have noticed that every time we listen to the latest hits we have a strange urge to drink. (And to dance, but that’s another story.)
Scientists Form General Theory of Bird Homosexuality
Scientists have long speculated gleefully about animal homosexuality. Some animals, like albatrosses, form lifelong homosexual relationships; others, like bonobos, step out on their partners and mate with anything that moves, …
Born in the U.S.A.: Mosque Protestors’ Ironic Anthem
The protesters in lower Manhattan have decided to adopt Bruce Springsteen’s anti-war anti-racism anthem as their own.
Know Ebonics? The U.S. Department of Justice Wants You!
NewsFeed readers, all those hours spent watching The Wire have finally paid off!
Competitors Frustrated by Caster Semenya’s Return
After a gender-testing controversy, South African runner Caster Semenya is back, and dominating the women’s races. But not everyone is happy with her comeback.
Nail Salon in Georgia Charges Overweight Women Extra
Charging overweight customers extra for their manicures is weight discrimination (and probably not the best way to ensure customer loyalty).
Quotes: Rush Limbaugh on Elton John
“I’ve said constantly [that] it’s the left that looks at people and puts them in a group and then defines them thus. […] Elton John’s not a gay man to me; Elton John is the premier performer of his generation.”
–RUSH LIMBAUGH, …
Neighborhood Strippers Don’t Object to Park51
Though TIME’s recent poll shows that 61% of Americans object to the building of an Islamic center near Ground Zero, the Wall Street Journal reports that those local to the area don’t see what the big deal is.
Jennifer Aniston Blasted For Saying She’s Like a ‘Retard’
Dr. Laura’s not the only celebrity being blasted for using controversial language this week; Jennifer Aniston is also now offending people en masse.
Are Bedbugs Taking Over New York City?
In the movies, it’s usually aliens that take over the Big Apple. In reality, it’s tiny, crawly little pests with an adorable name.