Naked Man Claiming to Be a Descendent of Sasquatch Attacks Hunter

If he's a sasquatch, why didn't Big Foot come to save him?

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A naked man claiming that he came from a long family line of Sasquatches attacked a hunter in rural Washington County, Oregon on Thursday.

Jeff McDonald is not an avid hunter, according to his daughter, and after what he experienced on Thursday it’s unlikely that he will be out in the forest any time soon. The 58-year old McDonald was in the woods behind his house when the naked 20-year old son of his neighbor attacked him with a rock while making Sasquatch references.

(MORE: Bigfoot Is Part Human, and Here Are the DNA Tests to Prove It, Claims Researcher)

McDonald reportedly spotted a naked man near his all-terrain vehicle on Thursday morning, Sgt. Bob Ray, a sheriff’s office spokesman, told The Oregonian. The naked man attacked, hitting the hunter repeatedly in the head with an apple-sized rock, according to local news outlet KATU, causing broken fingers, a dislocated shoulder and an eye injury, before McDonald managed to eventually fight off his attacker.

McDonald then held the man at bay with his hunting rifle and was able to call for help. Unfortunately, it took a long time coming. County deputies and state police troopers were reportedly stymied by the dense forest, and were forced to use air horns to try to find the victim, a process that took some 90 minutes during which McDonald was forced to hold a rifle on his naked attacker.

McDonald will recover from his injuries, according to his daughter. As for the attacker, he was identified as 20-year-old Linus Norgren of Banks, Oregon, and is McDonald’s neighbor. Investigators believe Norgren was under the influence of something, but what exactly remains to be determined. Norgren was arrested and faces charges of assault, strangulation and menacing. His bail is set at $250,000 and he has a court appearance scheduled for today.

No word on his actual relationship to Sasquatch.

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1 comments
SmoothEdward1
SmoothEdward1

Not to worry folks, turns out it was just Robin Williams, on his annual nude camping trip.