How to Stay Single Forever: Wear This New Bacon-Scented Deodorant

Caveat emptor: the underarm aphrodisiac may attract some real animals.

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J&D's Foods Inc
J&D's Foods Inc

Sweat like a pig? Now you can smell like one too: literally.

A Seattle company has introduced bacon deodorant, Power Bacon, which goes on sale today in a handy deodorant stick. Try not to sweat too much while you’re wearing it though, or you’ll be covered in unappetizing bacon grease.

In a world filled with bacon-flavored beer, bacon-wrapped cars and bacon bandages, it would be an understatement to say we’re obsessed with the cured pork product. One 105-year-old Texan even credited it for her longevity earlier this year, telling a reporter, “I love bacon. I eat it everyday.”

Bring it on. Before you go ordering in bulk, however, be mindful of this caveat emptor. Maker J&D’s Foods warns buyers that using the deodorant, which does not actually contain any meat, will draw others to you, “like the most powerful magnet on Earth.” It will attract “dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs,” but probably not a significant other.

For maximum potency,  J&D’s recommends applying the $9.95 stick liberally not only to your armpits, but to your “private areas” as well. Because nothing says romance like bacon-scented undies.

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