‘Nerdy Bandit’ Robs Portland American Apparels, But His Real Crime Is Wearing This Fedora

At least he logged off Reddit for a bit

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Portland Police Bureau

Crime Stoppers of Oregon released this forensic sketch of the "Nerdy Bandit" on Monday, Nov. 19, 2013.

First, there were sous chefs stealing herbs out of unsuspecting residents’ yards. Then a festive holiday sweater decorating a public statue mysteriously disappeared. Now police in Portland, Ore., are pursuing a man they call the “Nerdy Bandit.” Criminals are certainly doing their part to keep Portland weird.

Crime Stoppers of Oregon highlighted the case of the Nerdy Bandit Monday on their website, asking for the public’s help in identifying the at-large, four-eyed suspect, who is believed to be behind three robberies in the Portland area. At two different American Apparel stores, the robber allegedly presented a note demanding cash and implying he was armed; in one case he was not successful because the employee hightailed it away from the register. He then repeated the act at an Urban Outfitters, where he brandished a firearm.

The suspect wore a different hat at each robbery and black-rimmed glasses. One witness described the young white male as “nerdyish,” which just so happens to be a way to describe many young white men in Portland.

No word on what he needs the money for, but we’d venture it has something to do with getting his bike fixed or taking out a girl he met on DeviantArt.


They used a SWAT team to arrest him complete with concussion grenades and tear gas, followed into the home of an old man with breathing problems, who's now in an Oxygen tent. I could literally have arrested this man myself. It is part of the whole militarization of the police.


Thanks, Katy. The robber does seem to have a Walter White / Heisenberg similarity with the hat and glasses. Might he use his ill-gotten gains to buy an RV and start cooking blue meth?


He is a hipster, not a nerd. Not a single nerd would be caught dead in American Apparel.