After 120 Minutes of Heart, USA Loses World Cup

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Ghana: Our only weakness!

Yes, international readers, that headline is a joke. The United States Men’s National Team didn’t exactly lose the World Cup. They just lost to Ghana, a country that is in serious danger of becoming America’s most improbable sports rival after eliminating us from the World Cup twice in a row. (And by the same score: 2-1. NewsFeed is suspicious!)

Maybe it was the inevitable comedown from Landon Donovan’s dramatic last-second goal against Algeria; maybe it was because the Ghanaians had all of Africa behind them; maybe it was because Bob Bradley started Ricardo Clark, but the US looked out-coached and out-played throughout for most of today’s game.

The game started out with all the features of a classic snowball game for the US: Ghana scored early, penalties piled up, the US looked desperate. But the team was able to pull off yet another of its traditional second-half regroupings, and national-hero-in-the-making Donovan scored the equalizer on a penalty kick in the 62nd minute. From there it was stasis — and then overtime — for both teams, until Asamoah Gyan scored the winning goal for the Black Stars. Ghana locked down on defense, and the US was forced to try unsuccessfully for another miracle.

Still, NewsFeed is hardly disappointed in the USMNT. A team being “full of heart” and “giving it their all” are cliches that we will avoid, so instead we just say this: For two weeks, NewsFeed could imagine that we were really about to turn into a nation of soccer fans. Crazy, patriotic, flag-waving soccer fans. For that, we thank you. God bless the USA!

(Also, it may be NewsFeed’s latent liberal guilt coming out, but we’re thinking of supporting Ghana from here on out. Would that be so wrong?)