Halloween Hall of Fame: The Most Ironic Halloween Costume Ever Is…

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Courtesy TheSmokingGun.com

Yes, of course it has to do with drinking.

What goes into a Halloween costume? Ideally, some thought and some craft. Store-bought, frankly, is lazy. You want something you put some effort into, something that only you could wear. That’s how you get a costume that you’re proud of.

Two years ago this week, NewsFeed went as a Sexy Lobster. We chose this because we thought it would be funny (and because we wanted to see what we looked like in red skinny jeans.) With construction-paper lobster claws and antennae we resembled nothing so much as a six-foot-tall Kindergardener, and if we’re being totally honest, it was a huge hit.

One year ago this week, we went as Jughead from the Archie comics. We chose this because we were pretty obsessed with his crown/hat/thing at the time, and wanted to make our own. (It was the only costume we’ve ever had to do research for, to figure out what exactly that hat was.)

This weekend, we went dressed as Paul the Octopus. We chose this because our mind has been so addled by Internet memes that we could literally think of nothing else. It required a Herculean effort, hours of ripping and stuffing and stapling. Thanks to the color (light tan) and the placement of our octopus tentacles (two on the front, two on the back) the costume produced an unintended effect: Upon entering a room, we appeared to have to a pair of gigantically malformed breasts upon our person.

We bring up these costumes not to brag, but to point out that although even though these costumes were done the “right” way, none of them can hold a candle to that of 19-year-old Matthew Nieveen, whose choice of store-bought Halloween costume proved deliciously ironic this weekend:¬†He dressed as a Breathalyzer machine the same night he was busted for a DUI.

We don’t know what would be worse: That a man dressed as a Breathalyzer just happened to drive drunk on Halloween, or that a man, knowing he was going to drive drunk, chose to dress as a Breathalyzer. People!

(We should also note that a college student wearing another store-bought Breathalyzer costume was busted for drunk driving last year. If you are so experienced with Breathalyzers that you would dress up as one, why wouldn’t you get a designated driver?) (via The Smoking Gun)