Hillary Clinton: Secretary of Stand-Up Comedy?

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Secretary of State Clinton and Australia's Prime Minister Gillard in Melbourne, Australia

William West/Pool/Reuters

Maybe, just maybe, inside every Secretary of State lies the beating heart of a comedian just dying to emerge on the world stage. In which case: Hillary Clinton, take a bow. (Via Washington Post)

Secretary Clinton sat down with Australian radio stars Hamish and Andy for an interview Sunday, and the transcript is now making its way around the world (hey, Australia is far away). Topics weren’t so much her views on Iran, terrorism or the midterms but rather gravy-flavored potato chips, the Kardashians and what to eat for dinner. (See pictures of Hillary Clinton.)

Here’s Hillary on potato chips (after she was given a pack).

Clinton: I cannot tell you how much this means to me.

Question: Are you a collector of chips? Is this your first —

Clinton: I am an eater of chips.

Question: We recommend not. Use by — well, it was use by two years ago. So —

Clinton: And you resealed the package?

Question: No, no. This has never been opened.

Question: They’re the last remaining sealed ones. If you try to eat them, technically, that’s an assassination attempt by us.

Clinton: Shall I wait until I am out of Australian airspace?

Question: Yes. (Laughter.)

As for Kim Kardashian, Clinton made it abundantly clear that the reality TV star does not represent America(ns): “If you look at American TV as much of the rest of the world does, you would think we all went around wrestling and wearing bikinis.” (See more on reality TV.)

But when it comes to the all important matter of deciding what to eat for dinner with husband Bill, you get the impression that perhaps the SecState has spent a tad too much time thinking about the issue…

Clinton: We practice different models of negotiation around important issues like that.

Question: Yeah.

Clinton: Because if I were to say to him, as I have on many occasions, “What shall we have for dinner tonight?” If he says to me, “Oh, I don’t care; you choose,” I know that’s a really bad answer, because then I’m stuck with the responsibility.

Question: Yeah.

Clinton: So I will come back and I’ll say, “All right. Well, so how do you feel about Chinese — “

Question: Oh, good.

Clinton: — or Mexican or Italian?” And if he says a second time, “I really, really don’t care,” then I will go choose. Now, contrarily, if he says to me, “What do you want for dinner tonight,” I will say, “What do you want?” Then he’ll go, “Well, I was thinking of maybe picking up some Thai.” And if I’m in a good humor, I’ll say, “That’s fine.” But if I am feeling not enthusiastic about Thai, I’ll say, “Well, maybe we should consider something else.” And he’ll say, “Well, then you choose.” (Laughter.)

Question: Do you ever eat before midnight? (Laughter.)

Clinton: We are very late eaters. Yes, we do. I mean, this could go on — this goes on for some time.

As if it needed saying, Hillary Clinton will be here all week.