One Seattle car owner has mastered the art of the hard sell.
A Craigslist ad for a 1995 Pontiac Grand Am is making waves for its unconventional approach to self-promotion.
For one thing, it’s bright yellow. For another, it says “Jesus tap-dancing Christ” across the top in bold letters. It also includes several OMGs, a unicorn and a very scientific-looking line graph.
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But its real bright spot is the written description. Some highlights:
— “From its provocative curves to the paint job that says, ‘Screw you, I’m a car,’ this 5-speed ’95 Pontiac eminates [sic] manliness from every loosely-coupled peice [sic] of sheet metal.”
— “I know what you’re asking yourself, ‘Am I man enough to handle a car this flawless?’ The short answer is no. I tried to be. I grew my beard to unreasonable lengths, trimmed my fingernails with [a] belt sander, ate nothing but lumber for 6 straight days and knocked a polar bear unconscious.”
— “Once this car is taken, every woman on the planet will pile into it, and you’ll be SOL.”
Automotive blog Jalopnik tracked down the guys who did the ad, owner Joe Strachila and his friend Kyle Miller. First question: “Why in God’s name would you want to sell this car?“
Sadly, genius is not always appreciated: Joe’s Pontiac has yet to be sold and the ad was flagged for removal, although car blog the Torque Report has the full screenshot.
It’s not the first online ad that works hard to make a sale out of Shinola. Some of the better examples include this British wet-suit ad on eBay — which became so popular that the seller ended up making more than $13,000 for charity — and this Canadian snowblower ad. And then there’s this guy: