Reading While Eating for Nov. 14: Gathering Shadows

In today's must-read links for your lunch break: The Petraeus plot thickens, Guy Fieri gets a smackdown and Ryan Gosling gets robbed (again).

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Tim Wimborne / Reuters

A tourist watches as the moon passing in front of the sun as it approaches a full solar eclipse in the northern Australian city of Cairns November 14, 2012.

Love Pentagon: The David Petraeus scandal continues apace, as new revelations about the behavior of Jill Kelley, Paula Broadwell and Gen. John Allen emerge almost hourly. Can’t tell the players without a scorecard? Check out TIME’s who’s who of the entire tawdry tale. (

Or, Take the Audio Tour: Here’s one of Tampa socialite Jill Kelley’s 911 calls, in which she claimed diplomatic “inviolability” in a bid to get trespassing media types off her property. (She is an honorary consul of South Korea, a position that carries no special privileges or protections whatsoever.) (YouTube)

‘Sexiest Man’ Debate: People magazine (which, like, is owned by Time Inc.) has named Channing Tatum its Sexiest Man Alive. The pro-Ryan Gosling Internet, however, begs to differ. (People)

‘F— Obama’: A Key West, Fla., tanning salon owner has apparently killed himself over the President’s reelection, scrawling an anti-Obama message across his will and downing two bottles of prescription medicine. All respect to these Texans, but this is the most extreme reaction we’ve seen — although to be  fair, salon owners did get screwed by the Affordable Care Act. (Miami Herald)

Is Nancy Pelosi Too Old? Luke Russert asks one person who probably has an opinion on that subject: Nancy Pelosi. (BuzzFeed)

11 Acts of Kindness After Superstorm Sandy: Read these stories and be reminded of the better angels of our nature. Then look at these photographs and see how far we still have to recover. (Mental Floss)

The Greatest Restaurant Review Ever. Low hanging fruit, sure. But Pete Wells’ takedown of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant is a thing of terrible beauty. (New York Times)

Morgan Spurlock Is Making a Documentary about Boy Band One Direction. We’re guessing Michael Moore had already locked up a Rebecca Black deal. (Flavorwire)

Why Doesn’t MTV Play Music Videos Anymore? Short answer, whiny Gen Yers? It’s all your fault. (Cheezburger)