WATCH: Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Defeats Racist Jesus

If you ever needed a subtle reminder as to why picking up hitchhikers — or, indeed, hitchhiking yourself — isn't the best idea, meet Kai.

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If you ever needed a subtle reminder as to why picking up hitchhikers — or, indeed, hitchhiking yourself — isn’t the best idea, meet Kai. Kai is a homeless hitchhiker who carries around a hatchet. Kai is also being hailed as a hero after saving a woman from the clutches of the man who was giving him a ride — who suddenly crashed his car into a utility worker, began spouting racist invective and claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus.

We should probably start at the beginning. Kai was hitching a ride with 54-year-old Jett Simmons McBride, of Tacoma, Wash., when McBride, for whatever reason, decided to run his car into a black Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) worker in West Fresno, Calif. The worker was pinned against his utility truck, when McBride hopped out of his vehicle and began physically pulling on the injured worker.

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Local woman Tanya Baker witnessed the crash and tried to stop McBride from continuing his assault or leaving the scene. That’s when McBride reportedly grabbed her in a bear hug her while claiming to be Jesus Christ and uttering racist epithets. “The guy just went crazy and was trying to pull the guy from underneath the car and the truck, and then he gets in his car and tries to move the car… and we weren’t going to let him do it,” Baker told local Fox News affiliate KMPH.

“He just kept saying he’s Jesus Christ and he’s going to save all of us… but we have to get — he used the n-word, meaning the black people… and we need to get them off the earth.”

Kai, who was sitting in the car, saw McBride assault Baker and sprang into action. “Like, a guy that big can snap a woman’s neck like a pencil stick,” he told KMPH. Kai grabbed his hatchet and battered the six-foot, 300-plus pound McBride with the blunt end, reportedly saving Baker’s life. “I f—ing ran up behind him with a hatchet — smash, smash, smash!” When first responders arrived on the scene, the PG&E worker was rushed to the hospital with two broken legs. McBride was also removed from the scene with non-life-threatening injuries. He is now in police custody and booked into jail on suspicion of attempted murder.

Kai is now an internet hero, not only for bravely beating back a bear-hugging racist Jesus, but for his completely no-holds-barred approach to media interviews.

Watch the video above and see if you don’t want to give him a little media training and/or join his cult.

Then watch the NSFW swear-laden unedited version:

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